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Mission Failed by spiderweber

An excellent piece, the lighting and shadows are well done and give a real perspective of a great looking girl in a bad situation. The ...

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Well I have to admit that I have not heard of the second character, but that cannot detract froma very well drawn and detailed image, i...

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Just checked when I started writing the Jade Eagle adventures, January, 9, 2011 lol been over 4 years of her antics!

Thoughts and stuff...

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 12, 2015, 2:10 AM
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Laptop's cooling fan
  • Reading: Horus Heresy novels
  • Watching: Nothing atm
  • Playing: Space Marine and AC Black FLag
  • Eating: The souls of my enemies!
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max


Link for details of the current artjam for this year can be found here 2015 artjam is now live!Ok with the most votes is that ppl apparently want to do an art jam based around Jade and Hizuka's wedding, (not a massive surprise tbh lol).
Ok so here is how this is gonna work, more or less same as last years artjam.
1) It starts on 1st March and is going to run until the end of June (so plenty of time to come up with something).
 
2) For the duration of the artjam all of my OC in the Jade stories are fair use  - no need to ask me; but with the usual rules IE do not break the TOS do not kill them or cripple them or remove their powers apart from say temporary blocking of powers).  And no matter what NO RAPE or underage stuff!
3) If you wish to use someone elses characters in the artjam besides mine and your own, make sure you have permission.
4) Note me or link me the story/picture/poem/whatever when posted and I will add it to an art jam collections folder.
5) at the end of the artjam I will post a journal about it with links to each devaition.
6) The theme is a wedd


Been watching a few videos on youtbue while having breakfast, now a lot of these are older uploads from youtubers I only started watching ovet the last, say 6 months.  But they got me thinking due to the content of them and now I have found my flame retardent pants (cos I am certain with this being the internet, someone will find this and use my comments here to try and offend me to which I say BRING IT! As frankly I don't really care anymore if ppl try to bully me:)

SO obviously from that last line, I am thinking about bullying and bullies in general.  As such a breif bit of background is going to be needed here for context. (as well as some updates in general).

Most of you that watch my actively know about my health issues, in order to avoid driving ppl mad I have been talking about that less of late, currently recovering from a 2nd fistula operation and have more stuff over next few weeks in and out of of 3 different bloody hospitals to go to! Next week I have 2 days of tests on my heart as part of the transplant operation build up, plus a 5 hour stay in the local hospital for Anaemia treatment.  Basically due to my kidneys failing I have developed chronic Anaemia which I treat at home, with an injection once per month (I cannot absorb Iron from food or iron supplements anymore due to the level of damage in my kidneys).  The treatment on Thursday will infuse me with synthetic iron to my blood to help me further.  C/A affects you in a number of ways, mostly it makes you feel cold when its not, and makes you tired and then for good measure, screws up your ability to sleep which of course just makes matters worse!

But whatever, this is just something to deal with and like everyone in my family I am a stubborn person lol.

Now the background to the main  thrust of this journal:

A few ppl know that I am Dyslexic, many of you wont know that or maybe not understand what it is as like some health conditions, it carries a sense of a stigma to some and they hide away from mentioning it. I don't.

At primary school I always seemed to lag behind everyone else with learning anything, I cannot draw much better then stick men to this day, (hence me writing stories etc Apart from Rugby in Secondary school I was not good at sport and as I was so large compared to most of my class (only 2 others were anywhere near my height at school) I was soon taken out of that out of fear I could hurt the others and ended up in the swimming class (to be fair I didn't really mind that I enjoyed swimming as a kid).

Anyhow, The teachers at primary school by and large wrote me off as retarded, only the headmaster cared enough to speak to my mum about this and I was sent to a child psychologist as I hated school did not want to go as eve1 barring a couple of close friends and my sister bullied me over my slow learning.  The Psychologist interviewed me and put me through some tests, and told my mum that I was not retarded but in fact was a "full Dyslexic" (there are 3 kinds of Dyslexia supposedly and I have all 3).

On top of that I had at the time (I was around 6 or 7 years old at this point) A reading age of a 12 year old, and an IQ over over 140! Like most Dyslexic people, I have a high IQ but am not able to use it effectively, even now I still have issues from time to time.  The expert advised mum to put me through special education outside of school, not cheap for a single parent (dad died when I was very young).

However back then in the UK the school system still did not understand what to do to teach me, so I was put in either the bottom sets of te special needs classes by teachers who meant well, but had no training or resources to deal with a Dyslexic pupil (bare in mind here that it is estimated that one 1 of every 4 ppl in the world is Dyslexic).  The schools answer to the fact that my handwriting was very poor was to issue me an electric typewriter for lessons WHICH then then BANNED me from using in my EXAMS and never got the SCRIBE who would write things down for me in the exams as promised hence me leaving school with cruddy grades for the most part.

OFC I got bullied over this, I got bullied because I am heavy in build, I got bullied cos I wear glasses, I got bullied cos dad was dead, because we could not afford to go abroad on holiday every year, like most of the kids in my class.  I even got bullied because I did my homework on time, BECAUSE I wanted to catch up to my classmates).

I was always a little tall as a kid, a couple inches taller then eve1 else in my year, but when is was in my early teens, I was attacked by a gang of kids from a couple of years higher then me in school.  I was actually knocked out in the street by these bullies, the school on getting a complaint from my mum told her that they could not protect me so she took me out of school, I was sent to live back with my gran in my home town for 6 months with a load of schoolwork to do, when I came back to shcool the bullies got a little shock.

When I returned to the school in Bridlington, I was around 6 foot 2 inches tall, ofc the bullies heard I was back and came to find me only to find that now I was about a foot taller then them and in the mood for revenge, I was still scared of them, but I let my anger at them mask it and things got a little better.  I did actually enjoy college, my course had ppl my age but also ppl older then me, I made alot of friends, some of who I still am in contact with.

Even now in my workplace and here on DA I have been subjected to abuse and hatred, here because of what I like as art (I get it women tied up is not eve1;s thing) and I know that one persons fantasy is another persons worst nightmare.  I get that, some of the stuff I see in groups I watch makes me feel sick but the answer is just to remove those from my feed rather then have ago at the person who made it as to them it could be innocent even if to me it is offensive,

In real life I get stared at cos I am 7ft tall and I still hear comments in the street when ppl think I cannot hear them along the lines of "Look at the big B**TARD bet he is thick"  Some ppl are actually nice about it as they are just surprised at my height and even more so when they realise I am not some 7ft tall thug that is going to eat them alive in the street lol.

At work, because I am single, I don't really go out on the drinking sessions (don't see the point in getting rat arsed, I like a beer but not to extremes) and I tend to get on my with my job, somehow this equals to some minds "Paul is gay right?"  Uhm what?  I don't go out socially as I am not comfortable in large crowds of ppl and the noise in pubs and nightclubs when they are full gives me headaches (my hearing is quite powerful I suppose to make up for a lousy sense of smell and the fact I am blind as  a bat without my glasses). However I will admit due to the Dyslexia I am easily distracted and will miss what ppl are saying.

Some others and sometimes the same ppl that call me gay, also think that just cos I am nice to new starters and help train them (2nd longest serving member of staff in the company I am in my 18th year with them now) I therefore must be trying to sleep with them, man or woman!  Uh no I just try to make starting out in a new firm easy for them there are a lot of cliques at work, just like in scchool were the "cool groups" all hang together and talk shit about eve1 else, where as I treat eve1 the same).

I have even had ppl at work go so far as to claim that I have invented my illness to avoid certain jobs in the factory!  Right okay... I take 1 injection to my gut per month, a combination of 10 pills a day to make up the dosage of my medication have undergone so far in the last 8 months 3 surgical procedures and numerous visits to a hospital JUST to avoid jobs at work! My answer to that is "F**K OFF!"  If you had normal blood pressure and took the dose I am on every day it would kill you as your BP would be so low your body would shut down!  Yes there are certain jobs I cannot do at work, some are simply due to the fact that the lines are low down and I am so tall they are painful to work on and it slows me down so the company does avoid me doing them.


YET it is apparent that half my shift are turning up on a Monday still hungover from all the booze on a Saturday night!  It is also known that someone is SMOKING WEED in the smoking shelter before a shift (it stinks to high heaven) and yet despite the fact someone knows who it is, she only told the manager its going on, not who did it, as she does not want to be a target herself from all the cool ppl at work that are buddies with him!  She does not want to be bullied and frankly given everything going on in her life right now I cannot say I blame her for keeping her head down. 

Yes I did just compare the factory to high school, because it genuinely feels like that! I Get hate cos I am a union rep "You do F*K all for me!" Uhm you are not in the union, why would I do anything for you?  I help those who pay into the union and fund it, I am not going to fight for those who do not pay in for the help and runt heir mouths all day about me and the union lol!

This has got a bit rambly I guess; the simple fact is Haters are gonna hate bullies will be bullies, all you can do is find the true good friends and look to them for help, and don't let the bullies turn you into one of them, live your life they way your morals and upbringing tell you too and don't let these stupid cowards drag you down and ruin your life!

They nearly did with me, to this day I have little confidence in myself, and suffer from mild bouts of depression, but I am getting better, largely due family and friends but also due to a realisation I had years ago: It does not matter what others think of you, as long as you are comfortable with yourself you will be fine:)

TLDR version Bullies suck friend matter:D


X Girl Candys World Doll Divine Portrait Jade by pablodiablo316
X Girl Candys World Doll Divine Portrait Jade
A gift from :iconazurevirgo: where has combined my OC Jade Eagle with his ninja OC Shillouette interesting result to be fair:)  image made in the Xgirls character creator by  :iconcandysworld:
Loading...

updatey time

Journal Entry: Tue Mar 31, 2015, 11:43 AM
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Laptop's cooling fan
  • Reading: Horus Heresy novels
  • Watching: Nothing atm
  • Playing: Space Marine and AC Black FLag
  • Eating: The souls of my enemies!
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max


First up the artjam is stll up and running and I have been contacted by artist about it and hope to see their work soon, rules and prize details can be found here 2015 artjam is now live!Ok with the most votes is that ppl apparently want to do an art jam based around Jade and Hizuka's wedding, (not a massive surprise tbh lol).
Ok so here is how this is gonna work, more or less same as last years artjam.
1) It starts on 1st March and is going to run until the end of June (so plenty of time to come up with something).
 
2) For the duration of the artjam all of my OC in the Jade stories are fair use  - no need to ask me; but with the usual rules IE do not break the TOS do not kill them or cripple them or remove their powers apart from say temporary blocking of powers).  And no matter what NO RAPE or underage stuff!
3) If you wish to use someone elses characters in the artjam besides mine and your own, make sure you have permission.
4) Note me or link me the story/picture/poem/whatever when posted and I will add it to an art jam collections folder.
5) at the end of the artjam I will post a journal about it with links to each devaition.
6) The theme is a wedd
 

Also today i had the Fistua operation one again this time on my right arm and I am right handed so its stiff and awkward op seemed to go ok but I'm sore and on pain killers for the duration.  Just want to thank eve1 that has been so supportive of me through this, from:iconcreated-by-caz.: who drove me there and back, and :icondavid-presents: who also went with us for support, to my friends at work and my friends here who only know me through the 'net but are some of the best friends a man could wish for.

One last point as part of the Wedding artjam I will be writing a stpry involving the wedding, but here is the thing, while Hizuka has her parents to come to the wedding, and Jade has her grandfather, they need some bridesmaids and maids of honour plus guests, anyone interested?  Maid of honour and bridesmaids foc should be someone they know:)

Thoughts and stuff...

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 12, 2015, 2:10 AM
  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Laptop's cooling fan
  • Reading: Horus Heresy novels
  • Watching: Nothing atm
  • Playing: Space Marine and AC Black FLag
  • Eating: The souls of my enemies!
  • Drinking: Pepsi Max


Link for details of the current artjam for this year can be found here 2015 artjam is now live!Ok with the most votes is that ppl apparently want to do an art jam based around Jade and Hizuka's wedding, (not a massive surprise tbh lol).
Ok so here is how this is gonna work, more or less same as last years artjam.
1) It starts on 1st March and is going to run until the end of June (so plenty of time to come up with something).
 
2) For the duration of the artjam all of my OC in the Jade stories are fair use  - no need to ask me; but with the usual rules IE do not break the TOS do not kill them or cripple them or remove their powers apart from say temporary blocking of powers).  And no matter what NO RAPE or underage stuff!
3) If you wish to use someone elses characters in the artjam besides mine and your own, make sure you have permission.
4) Note me or link me the story/picture/poem/whatever when posted and I will add it to an art jam collections folder.
5) at the end of the artjam I will post a journal about it with links to each devaition.
6) The theme is a wedd


Been watching a few videos on youtbue while having breakfast, now a lot of these are older uploads from youtubers I only started watching ovet the last, say 6 months.  But they got me thinking due to the content of them and now I have found my flame retardent pants (cos I am certain with this being the internet, someone will find this and use my comments here to try and offend me to which I say BRING IT! As frankly I don't really care anymore if ppl try to bully me:)

SO obviously from that last line, I am thinking about bullying and bullies in general.  As such a breif bit of background is going to be needed here for context. (as well as some updates in general).

Most of you that watch my actively know about my health issues, in order to avoid driving ppl mad I have been talking about that less of late, currently recovering from a 2nd fistula operation and have more stuff over next few weeks in and out of of 3 different bloody hospitals to go to! Next week I have 2 days of tests on my heart as part of the transplant operation build up, plus a 5 hour stay in the local hospital for Anaemia treatment.  Basically due to my kidneys failing I have developed chronic Anaemia which I treat at home, with an injection once per month (I cannot absorb Iron from food or iron supplements anymore due to the level of damage in my kidneys).  The treatment on Thursday will infuse me with synthetic iron to my blood to help me further.  C/A affects you in a number of ways, mostly it makes you feel cold when its not, and makes you tired and then for good measure, screws up your ability to sleep which of course just makes matters worse!

But whatever, this is just something to deal with and like everyone in my family I am a stubborn person lol.

Now the background to the main  thrust of this journal:

A few ppl know that I am Dyslexic, many of you wont know that or maybe not understand what it is as like some health conditions, it carries a sense of a stigma to some and they hide away from mentioning it. I don't.

At primary school I always seemed to lag behind everyone else with learning anything, I cannot draw much better then stick men to this day, (hence me writing stories etc Apart from Rugby in Secondary school I was not good at sport and as I was so large compared to most of my class (only 2 others were anywhere near my height at school) I was soon taken out of that out of fear I could hurt the others and ended up in the swimming class (to be fair I didn't really mind that I enjoyed swimming as a kid).

Anyhow, The teachers at primary school by and large wrote me off as retarded, only the headmaster cared enough to speak to my mum about this and I was sent to a child psychologist as I hated school did not want to go as eve1 barring a couple of close friends and my sister bullied me over my slow learning.  The Psychologist interviewed me and put me through some tests, and told my mum that I was not retarded but in fact was a "full Dyslexic" (there are 3 kinds of Dyslexia supposedly and I have all 3).

On top of that I had at the time (I was around 6 or 7 years old at this point) A reading age of a 12 year old, and an IQ over over 140! Like most Dyslexic people, I have a high IQ but am not able to use it effectively, even now I still have issues from time to time.  The expert advised mum to put me through special education outside of school, not cheap for a single parent (dad died when I was very young).

However back then in the UK the school system still did not understand what to do to teach me, so I was put in either the bottom sets of te special needs classes by teachers who meant well, but had no training or resources to deal with a Dyslexic pupil (bare in mind here that it is estimated that one 1 of every 4 ppl in the world is Dyslexic).  The schools answer to the fact that my handwriting was very poor was to issue me an electric typewriter for lessons WHICH then then BANNED me from using in my EXAMS and never got the SCRIBE who would write things down for me in the exams as promised hence me leaving school with cruddy grades for the most part.

OFC I got bullied over this, I got bullied because I am heavy in build, I got bullied cos I wear glasses, I got bullied cos dad was dead, because we could not afford to go abroad on holiday every year, like most of the kids in my class.  I even got bullied because I did my homework on time, BECAUSE I wanted to catch up to my classmates).

I was always a little tall as a kid, a couple inches taller then eve1 else in my year, but when is was in my early teens, I was attacked by a gang of kids from a couple of years higher then me in school.  I was actually knocked out in the street by these bullies, the school on getting a complaint from my mum told her that they could not protect me so she took me out of school, I was sent to live back with my gran in my home town for 6 months with a load of schoolwork to do, when I came back to shcool the bullies got a little shock.

When I returned to the school in Bridlington, I was around 6 foot 2 inches tall, ofc the bullies heard I was back and came to find me only to find that now I was about a foot taller then them and in the mood for revenge, I was still scared of them, but I let my anger at them mask it and things got a little better.  I did actually enjoy college, my course had ppl my age but also ppl older then me, I made alot of friends, some of who I still am in contact with.

Even now in my workplace and here on DA I have been subjected to abuse and hatred, here because of what I like as art (I get it women tied up is not eve1;s thing) and I know that one persons fantasy is another persons worst nightmare.  I get that, some of the stuff I see in groups I watch makes me feel sick but the answer is just to remove those from my feed rather then have ago at the person who made it as to them it could be innocent even if to me it is offensive,

In real life I get stared at cos I am 7ft tall and I still hear comments in the street when ppl think I cannot hear them along the lines of "Look at the big B**TARD bet he is thick"  Some ppl are actually nice about it as they are just surprised at my height and even more so when they realise I am not some 7ft tall thug that is going to eat them alive in the street lol.

At work, because I am single, I don't really go out on the drinking sessions (don't see the point in getting rat arsed, I like a beer but not to extremes) and I tend to get on my with my job, somehow this equals to some minds "Paul is gay right?"  Uhm what?  I don't go out socially as I am not comfortable in large crowds of ppl and the noise in pubs and nightclubs when they are full gives me headaches (my hearing is quite powerful I suppose to make up for a lousy sense of smell and the fact I am blind as  a bat without my glasses). However I will admit due to the Dyslexia I am easily distracted and will miss what ppl are saying.

Some others and sometimes the same ppl that call me gay, also think that just cos I am nice to new starters and help train them (2nd longest serving member of staff in the company I am in my 18th year with them now) I therefore must be trying to sleep with them, man or woman!  Uh no I just try to make starting out in a new firm easy for them there are a lot of cliques at work, just like in scchool were the "cool groups" all hang together and talk shit about eve1 else, where as I treat eve1 the same).

I have even had ppl at work go so far as to claim that I have invented my illness to avoid certain jobs in the factory!  Right okay... I take 1 injection to my gut per month, a combination of 10 pills a day to make up the dosage of my medication have undergone so far in the last 8 months 3 surgical procedures and numerous visits to a hospital JUST to avoid jobs at work! My answer to that is "F**K OFF!"  If you had normal blood pressure and took the dose I am on every day it would kill you as your BP would be so low your body would shut down!  Yes there are certain jobs I cannot do at work, some are simply due to the fact that the lines are low down and I am so tall they are painful to work on and it slows me down so the company does avoid me doing them.


YET it is apparent that half my shift are turning up on a Monday still hungover from all the booze on a Saturday night!  It is also known that someone is SMOKING WEED in the smoking shelter before a shift (it stinks to high heaven) and yet despite the fact someone knows who it is, she only told the manager its going on, not who did it, as she does not want to be a target herself from all the cool ppl at work that are buddies with him!  She does not want to be bullied and frankly given everything going on in her life right now I cannot say I blame her for keeping her head down. 

Yes I did just compare the factory to high school, because it genuinely feels like that! I Get hate cos I am a union rep "You do F*K all for me!" Uhm you are not in the union, why would I do anything for you?  I help those who pay into the union and fund it, I am not going to fight for those who do not pay in for the help and runt heir mouths all day about me and the union lol!

This has got a bit rambly I guess; the simple fact is Haters are gonna hate bullies will be bullies, all you can do is find the true good friends and look to them for help, and don't let the bullies turn you into one of them, live your life they way your morals and upbringing tell you too and don't let these stupid cowards drag you down and ruin your life!

They nearly did with me, to this day I have little confidence in myself, and suffer from mild bouts of depression, but I am getting better, largely due family and friends but also due to a realisation I had years ago: It does not matter what others think of you, as long as you are comfortable with yourself you will be fine:)

TLDR version Bullies suck friend matter:D


deviantID

pablodiablo316
Paul
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United Kingdom
I am from the U.K and live on the N.E coast.
Born in 1976! but young at heart!
Warm caring and shy wold be a good description of my personality, but also moody and sometimes a bit rash!
I always stand up for what I think is right and for my friends.
I enjoy most art types, but specialise in my own style of bondage/damsel in distress stories
If I have a fault, It is that I worry too much!

Current Residence: uk
deviantWEAR sizing preference: xxxl
Print preference: none
Favourite genre of music: rock/metal
Favourite photographer: none really can any one reccommend?
Favourite style of art: hand/digital did art/rendered 3d
Operating System: windows 7 and caffeine!
MP3 player of choice: Ipod
Shell of choice: boltgun ammo/tac nuke!
Wallpaper of choice: anything cool
Skin of choice: mine, it holds my innards in!
Favourite cartoon character: Dilbert Check him out on you tube!
Personal Quote: When someone tries to drag you down, spread your wings and rise above it
Interests

Journal History

Wedding artjam is live and running! 

100%
11 deviants said WOO

Shoutbox

RazorVolare:iconrazorvolare:
BRO HUG! :iconbrohugplz:
Mon Apr 13, 2015, 12:54 PM
Dimples-Bratt:icondimples-bratt:
Soy-O-Lentz Green iz be Peoplez!!!!!! :O
Sun Nov 30, 2014, 8:38 AM
SouthernNerd:iconsouthernnerd:
Thanks for the :+fav:! :la:
Wed Jun 11, 2014, 4:17 PM
Dimples-Bratt:icondimples-bratt:
Never forgetz...U iz one of the Awesome Onez!!!! :hug:
Tue May 27, 2014, 6:46 AM
cactuarZrule:iconcactuarzrule:
Thank you so much for the :+fav:!! :ahoy:
Thu Aug 1, 2013, 7:33 PM
WhiteRavenLord:iconwhiteravenlord:
Thanks for the fave on my story! :D
Fri Mar 22, 2013, 2:43 PM
yuri08
i has pie
Sun Nov 25, 2012, 5:06 AM
obliviondid
thanks for the watch pablo you rock XD
Fri Nov 18, 2011, 12:07 PM
Shabazik:iconshabazik:
thanks for the deviantwatch! :D
Mon Oct 17, 2011, 8:38 AM
bexxyybabee:iconbexxyybabee:
hey how you been?x
Sun Oct 2, 2011, 1:22 PM
Nobody

Comments


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:iconsashashark:
SashaShark Featured By Owner 6 days ago  New member Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thanks for the fav!!
Reply
:iconpablodiablo316:
pablodiablo316 Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconsugar-bratt:
Sugar-Bratt Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Hey there Pablo, thanks for faving, hope you are having a good day today :hug: :kiss:
Reply
:iconpablodiablo316:
pablodiablo316 Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Its been a bit better yeah, and your welcome
Reply
:iconrazorvolare:
RazorVolare Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
:iconbrohugplz: TY4FAV ^^ Don't forget to check Part 1 if you haven't.
Reply
:iconpablodiablo316:
pablodiablo316 Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:P
Reply
:iconrazorvolare:
RazorVolare Featured By Owner Apr 14, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
x3
Reply
:iconazurevirgo:
AzureVirgo Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015
Thanks for the fave :)
Reply
:iconpablodiablo316:
pablodiablo316 Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconangel-in-hiding:
Angel-in-Hiding Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2015  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for the favorite on That is What Matters! ^•^
Reply
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